(Video: How to Get Confidence)
Are you lacking confidence?
Most of us go through life with little confidence within ourselves, only just getting by is enough for us. Then we look back realizing the many opportunities we missed because we did not have the confidence to pull the bull by the horns and handle whatever it was that stopped us. It’s the same cliché story being replayed in our head, “If only I spoke up,” “If only I could have done that,” etc, when things didn’t go even as planned.
If you feel you have no confidence, you’re alone; and many of people are not living the lives they want because of this.
Getting confidence is similar to learning any new skill.
We are all confident at something. There are things you do that come easily natural for you that makes you feel confident, even as trivial as riding a bike, knowing you can do something without any stress or doubt. After all, there was a time in your life you didn’t know how to ride a bike and whenever you were place on the spot to do it, you almost certainly didn’t really feel confident!
Simply put, nobody is completely devoid of confidence. We all have our areas of expertise (although we may deny that!).
For example, a businessman who has spent his life understanding his customer’s needs and industry becoming very wealthy, will have great confidence as a byproduct of his success. However, if he were to be brought up onstage to talk with 1,000 people in regards to the secret of his success, he may not now feel that same level of confident.
For those who do not have it, confidence is like a mysterious entity to describe.
Stereotypical behaviors of somebody who is confident is seen as extroverted, outgoing, sociable and optimistic. Yet, even people who possess such characteristics can be a lot less confident than they appear.
Did you know that many successful people, even celebrities, have life coaches and hypnotherapy professionals to assist them to with confidence issues. These people may exhibit traits we associate confidently, but, nevertheless, are putting on an act.
Now why do certain people lack confidence?
There are many factors that will lead to a insufficient confidence such as gender, birth order, and parental upbringing.
Many people have been afflicted by negative effects carried forwards from past experiences which have not been comfortable; this is all too common is what stops us for moving forward in life.
Turn that negative belief into a positive affirmation up-side-down and, instead of saying, “This challenge stops me from reaching my goal,” declare, “How can I help you with the challenge you face?”
Do you see the difference? One concentrates on “me and my challenge,” while the other is on “how I will help someone else through their difficulty.”
Which one creates the self confidence? The one that is only a declaration about me, or even the one that gets me involved in someone else’s life?
Never cover up the problem. Tackle it at its source and be self-ware of the reason for feeling the lack of confidence.
For example, let’s say a student always gets uncontrollable anxiety right before a math exam, and doesn’t know why. Maybe it was a test that went wrong in the past because of a bad day or not enough studying. Maybe he or she misread the directions and made a bad calculations. The answer might be a horrible mistake made by the proctor. That person shouldn’t suppress that problem but get it addressed either with a school counselor or friend to be aware of that initial cause. Once the unknown “why” reason is attacked, the anxiety gradually lessens now being conscious of it to control it until a math test is merely any other type of test.
To gain confidence, engage with the outer world as much as you can as you venture through life. Draw upon the world around you to build your strength of character.
Get out there and challenge yourself – it doesn’t matter how shy or strange this all feel in the beginning. Whatever fear may be holding you back is really a phantom. Make a habit of trying. Soon will bound to have unstoppable confidence.